I just began my whole new brand called “Happy Skating” as I retired Simon Slays #55, and I was so excited to begin posting to encourage that in my community and begin sharing valuable content again as I’m inspired and able to… then my best friend (who I met through skating) died suddenly. I’m shocked. I’m processing this huge loss and missing this person who’s gone. And I asked myself- How can I be happy right now? How can I be happy skating? I’m not happy. I’m sad, I’m devastated, I’m grieving. How can I show up? How can I even skate at all when they’re gone forever? How could I be happy right now?

I knew when I picked the name “Happy Skating”, it was ‘on brand’ but limited to one emotion (happy); I was aware skating gives you a wider range of emotions and expression than happy. _{(More on this later on in the post!)} But my mission and desire is to wish everyone “happy skating”, because ultimately it’s so fulfilling to see every skater empowered to have fun and skating is meant to be enjoyed. I wanted to continue that legacy. The joy skating gives me is something I’d like to share with the world around me and inspire everyone around me to experience. I truly believe you should enjoy it. If you’re not enjoying it, what’s the point of doing it at all?

The joy I’ve experienced through skating has elevated me out of many dark times.

And then I realized, that’s it. It’s not so much about being happy. It’s about finding your joy. And through that joy, you’ll discover those feelings of happiness.

Happiness is an emotion you experience. When you’re happy, it’s like the sun shining in your heart- you can’t help but radiate, to feel the warmth from within bursting out of you- it’s a lightness that explodes in laughter, a smile that spreads so wide you exhale a slight giggle, a blush of heat in your cheeks, a soaring feeling of lifts you off earth. Happiness can be temporary, fleeting- depending on where you are souring it from.

Joy in internal, found deep within you- not from external things. Joy is your comeback. Joy is your fighting spirit to get up after being knocked down. It’s the blood dripping from your elbows after falling down mixed with your sweat as you laugh that fail off and go right back at it again with even more energy, undefeated. Joy is the superpower of the strongest souls who don’t let anything hold them down- no matter how far down they end up, they get up and rise higher. Joy is a choice. Joy is something you find deep within despite the circumstances, despite the losses, despite the failures, despite the fucked up shit. Joy is what elevates you to break free and be empowered because it’s the reason you feel alive today and every day. Joy doesn’t depend on circumstances. Joy exists despite them. It’s like a weapon you overcome with. It bursts forth in the most beautiful, strong force that can destroy any obstacle before you. It’s something you choose when it’s that or be down. Joy bubbles up then explodes, wiping out everything in its path. Joy is authentic to your being. Joy is deep- rushing your soul in a strong stream that nothing can stop because it’s the flow of your truth. You can burst into a joyful laugh simultaneously as tears spill down your cheeks mixed with pain. It’s what lifts you even while you stand in the darkest moments. Joy is strength. Joy is “I’m going to choose to be happy IN SPITE of this”.

You can have joy even when you don’t feel happy. Joy is bigger. Joy is powerful. Joy is found in your soul. Happiness is a feeling. Happiness is a gift. Joy and happiness can co-exist and overlap, but they’re two different things.

One thing I’m good at is finding my joy and choosing my joy, no matter what. As a result, I am happy- and I find my happiness, too. Joy can be constant. Happiness is temporary, unless you find it from within. And the happiness you find from within is joy.

I’ve realized maybe my mission is not only about “happy skating” but showing how to find joy along the journey that leads to happy skating.

The Joy of The Journey

I’m here to encourage the joy of the journey. Not just for other people, but also for myself. I need that- especially right now.

If you ever watched any of my videos when I taught rollerskating on my YouTube channel ‘Simon Slays 55‘ and social media, I’d always introduce myself as someone who is here to help out and be a resource along your “skating journey.”

I knew that ever since I had to step away from full time creating and shift my focus to on investing that time, attention, energy onto building a new life for myself and taking care of myself in 2022 I experienced a change. I knew if I ever returned to creating content, it’d be different, because I was different. I didn’t realize until today that in continuing on that legacy of encouraging “happy skating” that there was a lot more for me to step into. It’s a call to be a lot more authentic in ways I didn’t anticipate or think, but it’s pretty clear now that’s part of my journey and what I’m meant to share. That’s part of the need / gap I’m here to show up and fill. That’s part of what’s missing that I feel the call to step up into.

I know because every time I see another skater do be authentic in how they’ve found joy in their journey as a skater despite life experiences that could have stolen it and they chose not to let it to, I heavily resonate with what they are doing and respect them and feel connected deeply to what they are doing and how they are showing up (@coco_franklin_ and @zulfiyeah, for example!). That’s because I identify with a desire to do that, and all this time I was being shown how rare but impactful that is to the people like me who appreciate it.

As for happy skating– I’m not changing the name; it’s still on brand and aligned with my ultimate mission of what I want to spread and create in my community when it comes to skating: a happy experience for everyone! But I also recognize now I am capable of bringing more range than that. I’ve always known whatever I’m going to do, it needs to be ORIGINAL, true to who I am, an expression and extension of showing up authentically, being in my truth and encouraging others to feel safe to do the same.

Now I am realizing that means honoring the whole emotional range you can experience as a skater. Skating is just an outlet- you are the creator, the source, the energy, the one expressing what’s inside of you.

And as human beings, we have a lot more inside of us to express through skating than one emotion. I want to teach about the joy you can experience- even if it’s not today, that it’s possible, and that I myself have had to crawl out of set-backs, loss, grief, heartbreak, change, devastating events, etc…but I never let any of it steal my joy. And the same way I found it I can help others find it.

Skating for me has always been a way to pick myself back up and find my joy.

The least I can do is inspire and empower people who need to find that, too and share my journey in some way that is helpful to theirs. That’s my aspiration now.

So if I’m skating, if I’m showing up, if I’m choosing joy- it doesn’t discount the grief, loss, sadness or anything else I may be experiencing. It might lessen the weight, it might now. But I won’t abandon my joy no matter what happens. And the thing is, I felt so much joy in my friendship and skating with my friend. So why lose that when it’s a way they can still be present with me? Why can’t in my joy I find a way to honor that joy we once shared- by not letting it die? By keeping that joy alive, in some way, the joy we shared lives on still in every moment I let it. It’s a beautiful way to shift perspectives as a continuation instead of an ending of something I treasured. We both enjoyed it. So I’ll keep enjoying it. Skate on. Invite the joy in.

If you can find your joy despite any circumstance, happiness is sure to be found with it.

“Happy” is only one emotion

Happy is only one emotions we can experience skating.

As human beings, our emotional depth can be vast and experienced in a variety of expressions.

After the death of my best friend, I was acknowledging, “How can I be happy when I’m not? I can’t be about ‘happy skating’ while experiencing a time of grief and sadness. I’m feeling this. I’m moving through this. I don’t even know if I can even bring myself to skate at all in the midst of loss and grief.

Wouldn’t it be beautiful to see and wider range of expression in skating?

So much of skating on social media -as we all know- is a highlight reel. Show your best, leave the rest.

Personally I think many of us are tired of it, bored with it, getting disinterested in that. Many skaters are craving something more real, a representation that we can relate to on a deeper level. We’re wanting to connect on a level other than just showing off. (I’m all for popping off, btw- you own it! But when that’s all we’re doing we’re missing the full range of the experience for sure, which doesn’t get shared on the same level typically).

That’s why we feel comforted by bail reels, no lie. We know it’s real. We know you’re not gonna land a difficult trick on skates or move in your practice unless you put in work and are willing to fail and ’embarrass’ yourself trying and looking not look until you get it locked in. That transparency takes courage. It’s also incredibly inspiring to watch to anyone who may have been feeling intimidated to try or doubting it’s possible to get there. There’s a lot more to our skating journey that we share. And you don’t have to share everything- but don’t NOT share something that might help someone out if you did, you know? Even if it was one person. That’s why I started my YouTube channel teaching rollerskating through video tutorials- I knew it’d be worth making that video and sharing it if it even helped one skater. Who cares if nobody else cares if it helped someone at least- that’s all I could hope. The number of people doesn’t matter as much as the people or person who really needed it most it reached.

I mostly share positive stuff as a skater and that’s on brand for me because that’s ME! I’m all about that positivity, baby. (You can read more about that in my next post here!) But I think right now I am being pushed out of my comfort zone to share even when things aren’t all “happy” when it comes to skating for me. To be real and vulnerable.

The thing is, emotions and experiences outside of “happy” or the highlights feel uncomfortable. I think the trick is to express them in a way that makes people around you feel seen, heard, comforted, safe and invited in- in a way that doesn’t focus on the negativity, but simply allows for authenticity and vulnerability as human beings all on a journey and permission to share that in a way that’s REAL.

Skating can be a healing & therapedic form of self-expression

While there’s many styles and expressions of skating, the only I’ve been loving and found most healthy and authentic to my self-expression is dancing. Most often, I pack my skates, adventure out to explore a spot to skate with my skates and headphones in the back of my car, then step out, lace up, play the track and let myself move however I feel in that moment. To express myself freely right where I am.

I’ve moved through some of my heaviest moments and emotions through doing this.

I’ve freed myself in that release as I moved my body and felt my way to a better place and honored whatever I had to offer from the truth of my being.

Skating is so much more than just “happy.”

My vibe, my wish, my hope, my ambition has always been to encourage skaters to just enjoy skating, to have a happy skate, to experience the joy of skating. And my mission/purpose is to be a resource, encouragement, influence, inspiration in that to empower you to be able to experience “happy skating” because I do believe it’s meant to be enjoyed and a happy experience, ultimately.

Skating is so much more than the happiness we can experience from it.

There’s a much wider range.

Through whatever I create and share, I hope we can encourage and inspire each other to express and experience the fullness of that. 🙂

I had more thoughts on this topic, so there may be another post coming if you’re interesting in reading more on this. It’s helpful for me to be able to write about it and share, and I hope that something in this resonated. Feel free to comment and share your own thoughts.

READ NEXT POST: “Where I’m At Right Now As A Skater” (happy skating as an aspiration and inspiration, what makes you happy evolves as you evolve, what I’m here for, being focused on positivity, grieving in community).

Breanna
aka @scoprioriding
formerly “Simon Slays 55”

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