I’ve been writing a lot lately about grief and loss after my best friend died. “Happy skating” is still very much something I’d like to return to fully and be able to be a positive influence with. This is the way I’m able to right now. I’ve been processing the sadness by sharing useful takeaways from my experience in hopes that someone else who may be going through something similar as a skater could find comfort and encouragement and feel less alone.

It can be isolating to be dealing with anything emotionally that heavy in community when other people aren’t experiencing the same thing, but you don’t have to remove yourself or not talk about it just because you’re going through a heavy time that differs from the people around you. It’s important to take time to process that privately and in relationships. I wanted to open up a space that’s safe where skaters can feel allowed to talk about it since it’s not as common or frequently a topic we do.

While I am not a mental health professional or a therapist (nor trying to be anyone’s!), I’m a fellow human being who has a lot of compassion and understanding to extend- partly because I understand that need on a personal level. I am extending that same compassion and understanding to myself through this, and I hope you are too. I’m here and I’m happy to create safe spaces to show up authentically in community as skaters however we can. We’re all human beings at the end of the day. There’s of course levels where we connect and a lot of community-level things are surface level, but there’s always an invitation over time to go deeper and an acceptance as a collective we are there for each other in love.

Getting emotional

When you’re struggling, it can be easy to feel shame or embarrassment being seen feeling so emotional if it’s a more comfortable expression like joy, happiness, pride, etc. But why do we feel like we should hide that or can’t show other emotions when they’re just as important and valid? A lot of times negative or heavier emotions are painted with a “bad” brush- when in reality, they are just emotions we are experiencing. Let’s normalize that.

Emotions aren’t always true- they are simply feelings you are feeling.

You don’t have to assign your identity to them. The best way to move through them is to feel them fully, acknowledge them, allow them- but simply observe, withholding any judgement, and let them pass. They will. Some return and return but they won’t stay forever if we let them flow through like visitors. You don’t have to stay there in that feeling. So if you’re feeling a feeling you maybe don’t want to open up about or share, all you need is to know you are safe to do so and create that safety for yourself (and in yourself) to embrace right where you are, as you are.

Here are some affirmations for that.

Affirmations

It is safe for me to be vulnerable. It is safe for me to open up. It is safe for me to share truthfully my feelings when they arise. I can be open.

I am still completely loveable. I can open my heart fearlessly and share freely all that I am and be loved just as much as ever- if not more! At all times, in any state, I am loved and worthy of love. I am worth loving. I am loved. I am accepted as I am. I am loved even when I’m not my strongest. I can let my walls down. I am still a badass. I am still amazing. My emotions are valid and allowed. One moment does not change me, or who I am. I am set free. I am allowed to be my authentic self. I am secure in who I am. I am confident in who I am and my self worth. I accept myself wholly. I am always worthy of love. I am infinitely loved. Every day, at any moment, I can take my power back and step into my full, powerful, radiant self. I decide how I want to think, feel, be, act. I can decide who I want to be right now. I am empowered. Everyone has hard days and experiences intense emotions- I am so grateful I can feel and be alive. It’s all part of being a human being. Being real and honest is valuable to me. I appreciate my own courage to share myself in that way with the people I choose. I am grateful to have people in my life who truly care and are there for me. Mi angeles. I liberate my self from fear when I share my true self bravely. I receive compassion, understanding, empathy, care and genuine love when I am authentic. People think more of me and highly respect me- they admire me for my vulnerability, openness, bravery, strength, authenticity. I am seen as deep and beautifully human in a way that is refreshing. People feel more connected to me on a deeper, more intimate level when I share my genuine feelings. It shows my strength. I am incredibly strong! I make others feel less alone and more seen. Our humanness is loveable.

I’m so grateful for caring, loving people in my life who have shown me I’m not alone and it’s okay to feel deeply and it’s safe for me to be vulnerable, open and share authentically. I’m thankful I can write and share here.

Breanna
aka @scoprioriding
formerly “Simon Slays 55”

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PREVIOUS POSTS >

•  “Where I’m At Right Now As A Skater” 
• “Happy Skating” | Finding joy in the journey
• Tips for Coping with grief and loss as a skater
• Tips for Coping with grief & loss as a skater (part 2)

Also, disclaimer: I’m not a therapist or mental health professional, so I’m not liable or responsible; I’m simply sharing what I do and passing on things I’ve personally done to anyone who might be looking for ways to move through grief and loss.